peppermint thanks mint for the love

~~spread the love~~

heartbroken1

 

enough. enough. i’ve had enough. of your nonsense. go away. yes. go! i hate you. i hate guys like you. really. i really do. u understand?

p.s to everyone: I NO LONGER UPDATE HERE AFTER THIS POST. GET BACK TO SSFOREVERSS. THNKS.

GOODBYE WORDPRESS.

I HATE YOU TO THE MAX. JERKS.

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April 5, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

life full of shit.

like broken glasses, my heart is now broken. for whatever reason i dont want to know. i just hate you the most now. ‘perasaan benci tu selalu datang dari kasih yang terlampau.’

now i know, the truth. i couldnt face it. and now, terabe-rabe carik Pencipta Yang Maha Esa. how am i going to go through this. tears cant stop dropping.. how dare you. how dare you did that. i just couldnt bear it and asked for a break-up…

i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i really do. i hate myself for trusting you. i hate myself for loving you, i hate you.

now what am i going to do.?

April 4, 2009 Posted by | 1 | 1 Comment

28th of march

27th march.

i was restless. but due to long working hours i slept right after reaching home. was not in good terms with sm. so i slept around 10plus at night.

0126 hours, 28th march. i woke up and looked at my phone to see what time it was. and surprisingly, its 1:26am in the morning, the exact moment i came out from my mother’s womb for 7 months. the exact moment, 20 years ago. i cant sleep. it was scary. waking up at that time. reached out to the sudoku book ipah gave me last time and purposely tried solving the hard one. and of course, i fell asleep while that. hah.

bro woke me up in the morning and mum wished me first. i thanked her and dad asked me, “nari nk blanje mkn eh?”

well i dont have much. so i keep quiet. went to work. colleagues dont even know its my birthday, coz i want this year to be a low profile birthday. 20 seh. so kept mum till work ends and went back to ayu’s place. as soon as i open the door, ayu sang me a birthday song which well, rather embarassing coz i am 20 but i greatly appreciated it. soon, we decided to catch a movie and off we go to vivo city.

the queue was very long so i brave up and asked a group of juniors from irsyad to buy for me 3 tickets for ‘coming soon’. well, tk tahu malu lah kate kn. so yeah.which after that the tickets were sold out. see? hah. (and the next show is at night, 9:55pm. sape yg nk tgk)

we lied to mum that its a funny story but we told her the truth after we ate at banquet. and she freaked out. hah. we kinda dragged her into the cinema. heh. and so, she went. it was quite scary, though i find most of the parts hilarious. unexpected some times. but i dont know if it was worth my $30.

oh and and, before we ate, mum asked ayu about mp3 and asked me whether i want like hers. and of course, i smiled widely and said yes i want. hahha. so i got a bday prezzie,. samsung s3 music player. cool. its pink in colour. i like i like!!!!

then after movie we fetched ayu’s mum at dover and off to al-azhar eating place for our dinner. i had fish and chips. okla. 6/10. worth if you are really hungry but dont ever dare to order it if you have had your late lunch before that.

and after that, we went home…..

a rather low-profile birthday this year. but its great when i spent it with my loved ones. and sm, you owe me a bday present k. yeah i know u bought it like last 2 weeks already but i have not seen it so that means you owe me one. haahha. and have i told u this? that i love you. hee.

and of course, i love my dearest family. every second spent is very meaningful.

thank You Allah for everything. =)

Happy 20th birthday to me.

March 29, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

busy lah ehk.

salam to all….

oh i so miss blogging like hell. ok i dun have time actually but since i dun really in my mood to do my research, i start blogging first.

work has been, tiring. and hard. and complicated. and stressful. and full of tension. and all la. ironically, i am excited to come back to work tomorrow. why? oh of course, my arienah n haqimi are the magnetic object in the school.hah. well well. i have so much burden on me. i am alone now. i am the only mudarrisah there. and i have to be in-charge of everything related to arabic and malay.(all the ECs, K1s and K2s.)(and of course, all the exhibition needs to be translated to arabic and malay since they now have a mudarrisah here-me)

see? and they dont pity me at all. i am not even a month old there. and yesterday i received a msg.

‘hello. i need u to look into our mind map and outline for the september fun blazing lessons and activities. do some moral education. attach relevance to hadith. by monday.’

upon reading, i swore like hell. wth kn? what the hell is fun blazing? what the hell are lessons and activities on september? what the hell is ‘some’ moral education? attach what relevance to hadith? and WHAT? monday??????????

or maybe they forgot. i come to work only since 9 march. before that, no, i did not attend your previous meetings to know what the hell are u talking about in the sms. geram sehhhhhhhhhhh.

k fine. super angry. but well, die die must do something what… i wont give up so easily lah.. heh.

and and. my superman is flying back here in april the 20. yey! my StrongMan. SM. yey yey yey.

oh by the way. i went to practical just now after a month plus not driving. so awkward,. but the instructor said he was glad that i dun forget things like lane discipline because he expected me to forget that, and didnt expect me to remember those circuit coursess…… heh. to be frank, i just shoot. lol.

okla. need to do my research now. bye people. wish me luck.

March 22, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

a week after…

salams to all…

a week of training at the west coast centre is very tiring. but, very fun. i just am thankful that west coast’s not much in terms of number of kids overall. we have only around 30 students. so.. yeah. thankful enough that i come onboard.

anyways, i wont be lucky in 3 months time. during june holidays, we’ll be shipping out to choa chu kang. so no more west coast branch. and we are expecting more kids. i really am not sure how to handle crowds. hah. kindergarten is ok, i guess. what bothers me is the explorers and challengers-we call them EC. ergh.

speaking of ECs, i am reminded of haqimi. the afternoon session superstar. he is only 2 yrs old. he can recite alfatihah. he can write his own name. he can recite annas, alikhlas, even to alkauthar. but he always come late. so i asked him.

me: u ah, always come late. u think u are a superstar ek?

haqimi: no!!! i am not superstar! i am superman!

and of course, i burst out loud when hearing that from him spontaneously. funny lah seh!! the fact that he is only 2 yrs old mind you!!!

anyways, of course, as you can see now, i love kids. especially boys. lol. they are so adorable……

ok2. seriously, i have yet to decide where to go after getting my a results. i thought of retaking but now, i think its impossible for me to study for it coz even when i am in school, i am such a lazy bum hah. i thought of applying SIM or any local unis here. but i think i am not ready for uni level. there are many things to be considered. to be brushed on. i am considering courses in kaplan. its a private institution offering from diplomas, to bachelors, masters and even doctoral. so i thought of taking some diploma. which i really am considering right now is the human resource management or financial management. something like that. maybe. so yeah. hopefully, i think it over fast and hopefully the fees are ehem… are reasonable. 10months of studying and then exams. good one i suppose. oh, and, its a part-time one u noe. so yeah.

well well. sm is still in his homeland and of course, without him here i dont hang out anywhere after work. even my sunday(today) was spent at home. i am bored to death so to you my dear, please come back now or else i die out of boredom here! grr.

and and. dad’s birthday is coming pretty soon. 17th march. and of course, mine is too! haha. so people, dont forget my birthday k?? nothing much la u can buy for me. just get sm here by my side and i am very touched already! hahahaha. buy for me a flight ticket from kuching to singapore just for sm to be here by 28th march?????? *winks*

haha. ok thats all for now. maybe i’ll post pictures in my next post.

and oh gosh. i cant have my ‘school holidays’ tomorrow as well as friday. have to come back to school to finish the unfinished work and send it to teacher liti by friday. ergh. lucky i dont have much marking to do. haha.

ok bye ppl. take care!

March 15, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

while you were there.i wish you were here.

salams all.

i am seriously overloaded with work. only 3 days at work and works are piling up. since the previous 2 who were in my position were soooooooooooo ngjrnguvnuigh. haha. so i have to cover everything back. back to square one la kn.

so if you are still confused where am i working. ok i’ll tell. Hanis Montessori Kindergarten. i am now a mudarrisah zuliana. hah. and will be taking diploma in montessori. but well, i am not sure if i am able to commit that much because i want to apply SIM and UM. so…. yeah, we’ll see how it goes…

anyways, teaching is tough la. but the students are very cute. lol. montessori kindergarten is very different from normal kindergartens u c.. here, we have montessori session. very different. while i teach at Hijrah Kindergarten, it was very typical type of singing, rhyming, worksheets and etc. but here, we have exploring and challenging. ok i dont know how to explain.

so tomorrow will be my ‘first day’ without a trainer. so…. wish me luck!

oh anyways, handphone will be in silent mode or switch off because i want to focus teaching. heh.

______________________________________

sm is still in kampong and i am damn bored to the max without him here. without his screaming when i eat choclolates, without his irritating laugh, without our everyday quarrelling, without his annoying funny faces, without him telling me stories(though i doubt about some of the facts haha), without him insisting on meeting everyday, without watching him eat, without his anger when i scream or shout or talk back at him…. without….. him… here by my side………..

i miss you…….. please come back? i know you will………

ok thats all. need to email to head tchr something now. bye for now.

*oh btw, TP test is coming like soon soon soon.!!!

*i miss you very very very very much!

March 11, 2009 Posted by | 1 | 1 Comment

scarier than scary

salams to all.

i had a very bad day. well, not because of my results you see.

ok2. A levels? i hoped nobody felt disappointed with me. because i already told my parents, not to hope too much this time round.

before taking the results, while changing, (i was from work). i didnt feel any nervous or whatever. and so, i told my mum about it. i felt sad plus worry plus disappointed coz sm is going back. so results thingy was my last on the list to worry. haha.

while i was on the way to school. called sm.

me: takot arh.. tadi tk rase pape pon. skg mcm dah konfem fail sume..

sm: tk perlu risau. konfem pass. mcm baru je kenal ayang.

me: diam arh. sume ckp gitu.

and then, when i reached school, hasanah told me everyone was crying outside the office. i was brave enough to get my results from the admin and out from the office as soon as possible. i didnt take a look at it till kay asked how was it. and they persuaded me to look at it. and then….

me: ape grade yg pass ah?

them: ABCDE

me: oh. k.

i was very nervous then. coz yes. miracles do happen. i passed. except for islamic law which i obtained an ‘O’ grade. which means i failed in advance level but pass in ordinary level. so.. yah. and i passed GP. oh my malay sux. and arabic was,… whatever too. but i wont dwell so much coz, i dont study anyway. dont believe me? ask sm. i met him almost everyday during the a levels period. and before and after exams. so yeah. above everything, i want to thank Allah for giving me this faith that miracles do happen. and for making miracles happened for me. ok the results was very very bad. but come to think of it.  I DID NOT STUDY u c? so yeah. haha. not boasting. i simply dont know what to say with myself. ‘if i studied…….’

wallahu a’lam.

anyways. i met sm for the last time. it was scary. passed all the things i bought for him and people back in kampong. i had mixed feelings. he promised he’ll come back mid or end of april. i’ll hold on. i’ll wait for you. i keep my promise. i’ll wait. but u have to keep your promise too. u’ll come back.

and so. of course. like a typical girlfriend. i cried. badly. so bad of me. he’s not going to marry someone else kan. he’s going back to meet his mum. dad. families. or dear heart. please. let him go for some time. k?

scary. i hate dealing with feelings.

March 6, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

long-time

hai everyone.
seems like a decade ago i last typed out here. eheh.
well, worked hard man.

my life has been good and bad of course. good thing is, i managed to earn some pocket money and tried not to burden my mum. secondly, starting from 9 march 2009, i will work permanently as a… heh. cant tell yet for those who dont know. hehehe. thirdly, personal love life has been verrryy good and surprisingly more secured. eheh.
the bad thing is, sm is going back. shooooooootttttttttt! like damn sad lah seh. and i dont know for how long he will be there. he’s homesick lah. but seriously, i cried just now coz it will be my last time seeing him coz i cant see him off at airport because of my stupid planning. gr. gr. gr.
and the thing is, he wont be here with me, during our favourite days which is the march school holidays, AND, MY 20TH BIRTHDAY.
ergghhhh.
abg……. tkyah balek ah????????????
hmm…
anyways,

tomorrow is A-LEVELS result. can u imagine that? and to think i worry other things more than the results is scarier. so scary.

ok now i have to go.
seems i have lost my blogging skills.
bye for now.

March 5, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

ni entry ke bukan?

salam everyone.

i am so sorry if i didnt reply to any of your messages or calls. hp prepaid was low and, even if its  not low, it is not with me now. so yeah.

and , i am busy these days. ahaha. work since monday.

and i am really sorry to madr irsyad (miss amnah and ustazah rohana) if i didnt reply or what for the relief teaching. fact is, my hp is not with me now. CT! if you are reading this, do tell them about it k. thanx yar.

grr. i am so tired. bored.

whats life mann???

i miss my own slacking life. ahaha. so much la. gee.

oh and, been eyeing sony ericson c905 since it came out. oh pleassshhhh!!! anyone? nk belikan? advance bday prezzie???

oh and. cant wait for tomorrow. yey. hehehehe. syaz bday celebration.

aku ni blog ke tk ehk. hehe.

k bye. will be back when i am free.

February 26, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

letter from syria..

copied from ustazah rozana’s multiply…….. and i am so touched. so here it goes…………..

 

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Larut Malam (adapted from Farahin)

 

 

As I’m writing this, perhaps u all are already in sweet dreams. Maybe some even are still smiling in your sleep from much joy of the graduation day earlier. I know that I’m happy to be here.. after such a long wait. But I can’t deny that a tiny part of me wish I could be there. And I’m sorry that I couldn’t. Kalau lah boleh buat mcm Barney, “let’s pretend” and “use ur imagination” jer terus boleh tukar pergi place yang kite nak…. (ok I know, I’ve enough of Barney, thnx to tuqa).

 

So, today was your special day. Each and every one of you. You people deserved this day. After so much effort and many sacrifices. I still remember those sullen faces. I still remember those disheartened words. I still remember those dampened spirits.

 

“Zah… tadi Balaghah maut seh”

“Zah.. Insya’ tak faham apa benda pun”

“Zah… next paper blum bukak buku pon”

“Zah, saya konfem paper ni takde harapan. Harapkan next punya subject combination jer lah.”

“Zah, tadi paper.. apa sey.. Ust ******* ckp part yang bla bla tak masuk abeh ada qstn sal tu jugak.”

 

And I vividly remember this sms coming from Utt “Zah, doakan kita semua kuat nak teruskan perjuangan. Kita satu2 dah down lps paper ****** tadi.”

 

And do you still remember in the midst of your everlasting prelims, one after another fell sick?

 

Yet you people hanged on. The term “give up” is never in your vocabulary. Even for those whom, I know, tried to give up. Yet you still didn’t. And that is why I’m proud of you people. There was a moment I felt kinda cheated by all your complaints when I received your results by the asatizah. Markah semua tinggi2 belaka. Bila sazah key in, grade A & B ajer yg banyak.  Alhamdulillah, bijak anak2 semua.  Tak sia2 sazah risau.

 

And earlier today, the joy and pride that you felt deep in your hearts, that radiated through your faces, flew miles away to me here in Syria. It made me fight sleep just so that I can type out my thoughts and share the joy. How I wish I could send sms or email, but my phone was send for repair along with the sim card and all the numbers… so maybe I’ll send an email soon.

 

Somehow, I know that you all know that I do remember you just like you all remember me and that you all know that I also know that you all remember me. Bah.

 

Anyways… here’s a special graduation gift for each & every one of you on this special day. A precious little gift from me….

 

 

“ Bismillahirahmairrahim.. Alhamdulillah was solatu wassalamu ‘ala Rasulillah…….

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya Engkau menjadi saksi bahawa telah ku halalkan setiap ilmu yang ku curahkan. Telah ku maafkan segala kesilapan mereka yang di dialam pengetahuanku mahupun tidak. Telah ku redhai langkah mereka dalam menggapai ilmu-Mu ya Hakeem….

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Mengetahui. Bahawasanya segulung syahadah yang kini di dalam genggaman kami hanyalah sehelai kertas cuma. Bahawasanya yang bererti di sisiMu adalah ilmu di dada kami. Ilmu dan amal. Namun ya Allah, Kau jua mengerti bahawa dunia mengiktiraf kertas ini. Bahawa kami sukar maju tanpa kertas ini. Ya Allah, jadikanlah syahadah kami ini satu wasilah dan bukan hadaf. Wasilah untuk syahadat yang lain – ijazah sarjana muda, sarjana dan seterusnya doktor falsafah. Dan jadikanlah kertas2 itu juga sebagai wasilah, kerana hadaf kami adalah ilmuMu ya Hakeem. Hadaf kami seungguhnya ialah keredhaanMu.

      

Ya Allah, pada hari yang penuh barakah ini, anugerahkanlah keikhlasan pada hati2 kami. Tanamkanlah sifat tawadhu’, zuhud, dan cinta pada ilmu dalam hati2 kami. Ya Allah, hiasilah diri kami dgn akhlaq mahmudah, dan lindungilah diri kami dari perasaan riya’, sum’ah, ‘ujub, sombong dan segala penyakit hati yang boleh membutakan kami,

 ya Rabb.

Ya Allah, Kau berkatilah ilmu kami yang cetek ini. Manfaatkanlah ilmu yang ada pada kami dan tinggikanlah darjat serta kemuliaan kami dengan ilmu yang bermanfaat. Kau jadikanlah kami orang2 yang dapat menaburkan bakti kpd masyarakat dan agama dengan ilmu2 kami, ya Allah. Berkatilah ilmu kami dengan amal yang soleh. Berkatilah ilmu kami dengan tabligh yang berterusan. Berkatilah ilmu kami dengan amr ma’ruf dan nahy munkar. Berkatilah ilmu kami dengan bertambahnya lagi; bukan membeku apalagi berkurang.

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya telah Engkau letakkan amanah di atas bahu2 kami. Sesungguhnya telah engkau pilih kami untuk Kau berikan kebaikan2Mu sepertimana yang dikhabar oleh Rasulullah s.a.w

“Man arada bihiLLAHU khairan yufaqqihhu fid din” 

Ya Allah, telah Kau pilih kami sebagai pewaris2 Anbiya’Mu.

Maka, ya Allah, kami pohon dipinjamkan segenap kekuatan rohani, jasmani & minda, agar dapat kami pikul amanah yang diberikan dengan sebaik2nya.

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya Kau Maha Mengetahui akan musibah yang menimpa umat Islam hari ini. Sesungguhnya Kau berjanji tidak akan merubah nasib sesuatu kaum melainkan ia sendiri yang merubahnya. Sesungguhnya Kau berjanji, dengan ilmu, Kau tinggikan darjat hambaMu. Sesungguhnya Kau Maha Mendengar bisikan halus hati kami ingin membantu menaikkan Islam dan menjatuhkan musuh. Ya Allah, bersaksilah.. dengan ilmu dapat kami tebus maruah umat ini. Dengan ilmu,  juga iman terhadapMu, dapat kami buka kunci rahsia alamMu. Dengan ilmu juga dapat kami takluki dunia ini. Agar nama Islam kembali mewangi.

Al-Islamu ya’luw wa la yu’la ‘alaih.

Itu janjiMu. Dengan ilmu, kami berjanji akan menagih janji itu nanti. 

Ya Allah, jadikanlah kami qudwah solehah kepada masyarakat sebagaimana kau jadikan Rasulullah s.a.w uswah hasanah kepada ummat. Sinarilah diri kami dgn hikmahMu. Anugerahkanlah kami ilmu yang luas, pemikiran yang tajam, peribadi yang mulia dan kata2 yang berhikmah. Permudahkanlah kami meneruskan pelajaran; dalam bidang apa pun, di bumi mana pun jua. Jangan Kau sukarkan laluan kami dalam menuntut ilmu, jangan Kau noktahkan langkah kami dalam mengharungi ujian2Mu.

Ya Allah, ke mana jua Kau rezkikan kami selepas ini, kami mohon anugerahkanlah yang terbaik buat kami. Haluan mana yang Kau taqdirkan kami, kami mohon jangan di pisahkan hati2 kami.

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya hati2 ini telah terhimpun dalam mencari redhaMu. Sesungguhnya hati2 ini telah terikat dalam meggapai kasihMu. 

Sesungguhnya hati2 ini telah bersatu dalam menuju cintaMu.

Maka ya Allah, Kau perteguhkanlah ikatan hati2 ini. Jangan sesekali Kau rapuhkannya biarpun jauh jarak waktu dan tempat yang memisahkan. Kami mohon Kau jadikanlah ia sentiasa utuh dalam pemeliharaanMu.

Ya Allah, bila sampai masanya nanti, Kau satukanlah kami kembali. Agar dapat sama2 kami teruskan amanah ini. Agar dapat kami terus perjuangkan agamaMu di muka bumi ini. Bila tiba giliran kami nanti, tetaplah Kau terus memimpin kami. Agar sunnah Anbiya’, auliya’, ulama’ dan asatizah dapat terus kami susuli.

Ya Allah, akhir sekali kami pohon agar Kau sentiasa merahmati kedua ibu bapa kami sebagaimana mereka merahmati kami semasa kami kecil. Balaslah jasa2 dan kebaikan2 mereka untuk kami dengan sebaik2 balasan. Juga Kau berkatilah Madrasah kami dan seluruh lapisan warganya. Berkatilah guru2 dan juga Mudir kami. Limpahkanlah segala rahmatmu terhadap Madrasah kami dan madrasah2 yang lain juga. Ya Allah, kami pohon kau lindungilah institusi2 yang bernama madrasah.

Mudah2an dapat kami membalas jasa suatu hari nanti; samaada secara langsung mahupun tidak.

Ameen Ya Allah..

Ameen Ya Rahman..

Ameen Ya Raheem..

Ameen Ya Rabbal ‘alameen…

HasbunALLAHU wa ni’mal wakeel, ni’mal mawla wa ni’man naseer,

Wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah “

 

 

 

 

Now, that is the reality of graduation. Allah yuwaffiqukum

 

Love,

Umm Tuqa

 

 

 

(THANK YOU SANGAT ZAH. love you so much. )

 

February 21, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment