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jauh di mate. dekat di hati. kan?

saye penat sangat lately. keje tk penah sikit. bayang kan, K1, K2, Explorers, Challengers. semue saye handle arabic and malay. tadik tahap kesabaran dah nk sampai tahap maksima. saye pegi masok ofis dan jumpe GURU BESAR. saye blg die. “help me. find another mudarrisah to help me. i cant afford to do this alone, especially when we move to cck later on.”

and well, she understand. but kind of, disappointed. sebab die ingat saye dpt tahan smpi kite pindah ke choa chu kang. sorry lah. but seriously. kalau teaching aje tkpe. filings. markings. updating profiles. parents checklist. bayangkan. byk sgt. kepale saye pon tadi da pusing. muntah due kali di toilet. pening.

mungkin saje saye pon tgh musim rindu merindu.. hah. dah mase2 mcm ni(stress lah konon), tkde sape saye nk mengadu. ok saye ade tuhan. Allah. setiap kali saye mengadu ngn Dia.

tapi ketiadaan strongman saye betol2 membuat saye kesunyian dan kesepian. tu yg saye asyik carik gadoh dlm talipon. sori la… tkd niat nk buat mcm tu. cume. ehem. jauh di mate. masih tetap dekat di hati. jadi saye nk eksyen2 gado2 syg. haha. phm? tk? saye pon mcm tk phm. pening seh!

oh aah. saye ade challenge baru. seorang murid dari iran register due hari lepas. masya Allah. perangai die semcm. dah lebih terok dari midun yg dulu ade dlm buku sastera saye. kalau ikutkn hati, saye pon akan bertindak mcm cikgu nye si midun tu. tapi iman saye maseh kuat. insyaAllah. kepade Tuhan yg saye amat syg, maaf kalau saye asyik mengadu dlm hati kepade Mu. Kau tabahkanlah iman aku menghadapi murid yg…. entah la. tkd social skill langsung. saye dah ditendang dan disepak nye. nasib saye ade babat. kalau tk mungkin tulang saye retak. teacher nafisah sampai MC. hah. terok kn?

bayangkan. die lari2 satu sekola tu. lahh.. nak lari? clementi stadium belakang je. blg lah nk g stadium nk lari. jgn susahkn guru nk kejar, tangkap. dah tu cikgu ditendang. tk mkn saman betol!!!

tkpe2. saye tetap sabar. akan tetapi saye tk bagi chance. saye tulis kt communication book bagi mak die bace. sampai guru MC kau! mungkin saje teacher nafisah da benci si hossein tu! sigh. ape lah saye nk buat ngn die! naseb die K2! sbb K1 saye form teacher. haha! K2 tchr naf. gdluck naf! heh.

dahla. sebenarnye hari ni saye nk luahkn bende lain. keseluruhan entry saye kali ni hanyelah bertujuan utk megadu naseb sbb saye tk dpt nk mengadu kt nun jauh di sane hari ni. talipon bimbit nya rosak. jadi? saye tk dpt la call. kesian kn? nak tahu ape? i miss you k?

bye lah.


April 1, 2009 Posted by | emotion, random | 1 Comment

sadly its true.

it was damn painful, my dear. it was. to think you could easily said that without even thinking, oh i dont know you anymore.

i cant stop crying when you said that. and i thought i was living happily. i didnt think i was in my dreams. i thought it was reality. but hell no. i was wrong, again.

when i am happy, you were there. but where are you when i feel restless, unsecure and sad?

do i have to say it again? i am hurt. hurt. badly. you think its the typical hurt isnt it. yeah. think it like that.

dont ever call me up again when you are in trouble. for i will not be there anymore.

like real.coz when you call later, i’ll be smiling. darn me.

January 28, 2009 Posted by | emotion, random | Leave a comment

cny baru dtg azam baru.

an idea suddenly came to me. i am so excited. later on people.

i have decided. to concentrate on my life, my present. my future. whatever it takes. i need to succeed. i need. and i want. i dont care what they think about me. because frankly, i was not even alive when i was there. now… i will change my life. nobody will change my life. not even my parents. i have to change my life. my future. come on people. like america having barrack obama, which will change america, i have myself to change my life. (ok, tk same. diam.)

so… sit back. relax. and watch zuliana gonna rock the stage. i will. aku tkkn biarkan hidup aku berkecamuk lagi. aku takkan biarkan orang lain berjaye sedang kan aku tidak. tapi tkkn nk buat sume tk berjaye? aku kene lah jadi antare org2 berjaye. tk gitu?

bak kate cikgu iskandar, kejayaan tu subjektif. aku akan berusaha utk diri sendiri. supaye org tk pandang hine (mcm tu) kt aku. tkkn ku biarkn lagik. insyaAllah. pengalaman telah mendewasakn aku. alhamdulillah.

bye semue. zuliana nk tido dgn semangat yg berkobar2 nie.

January 24, 2009 Posted by | random | Leave a comment

“macam budak2 ah… bile nak fikir macam orang dewase ni..? bile nak jadi orang dewase ni..?”

childish i am. you pampered me too much, dear. heh. once you heard me coughing non-stop, you turned back and walked towards me. took the water bottle and feed me. ok. nothing much to say. ily.


anyways people. i am at stage 2.04 already. went for lesson. was late again. and the instructor is the same. suffiyan. heh. so he told me he is the team leader for the group instructor. oh ok.same comment given. my left turn sucks. i always forgot to check left blindspot. grr. but he told me my lane change is as smooth as silk. lol. yey to me!

and and, today’s car is super gerek. it is honda city brand new, latest model. very smooth lah sey. i loike!! heh. feel die lain sey bile bwk… best banget!!! but brake die sikit punye sensitive!! ok la. i like i like!! and… something happened… not going to tell here. hehehe. kn ct kn? lol.

okla. dats all. to sm. call me soon!!!!!! ergh. to all, take care!

January 23, 2009 Posted by | random | Leave a comment


kk fine. 3rd post. i cant sleep coz my cough irritates me even more when i lie down. so,.. here i am.. stared at my phone for a while, while waiting for sm to call. then i thought of remincsing (haha) all the phone i had used. heh. till today. since i was 12.


below: ericsson T10.  is my first ever phone. classic isnt it? this is the one, confiscated by a teacher of mine, while we were reading our prayers before the school starts. coz it rings. i forgot to silent mode it, and hem, it wasnt the time hp was allowed in irsyad. haha.



above: nokia 3210. my 2nd phone. used it while i was in sec1 if i am not wrong. heh. super big. it is still in my drawer. and when i switched it on now, it blink2. haha. miss this old hp coz the alarm clock is super loud. and it is bulky. therefore i wont forget about it wherever i went. hehe.


below: nokia 3610. used by big bro first. for almost 2 years. then he gave it to me. pfft. but this one, the alarm clock is more irritating than the previous one, haha. i liked this one, though.



below: nokia 3220. 1st camera phone of mine. was indeed a famous and highly recommended phone! it got 4 blinking lights at the side. friends called it ‘ah-beng phone’. haha. i loved it. and this is the one who made me what i am today: a camwhore.



below: sony ericsson w810i. 1st sony ericsson phone. walkman series! since using it, i am so much addicted to sony ericsson and promised i wont change to another brand as long as i want. haha. really. loved it even more. 2 years of usage. but now…. it died… 😦



below: my current phone. sony ericsson k800i with additional vodafone series. 3.2 mp. loved it. but am going to change to new one soon. heh.



so… how? impressive? no. sm has exactly 10 phones in a yr. phone addict. tsktsk. *shakes head*

haha. well, thats all. 🙂

bye ppl.

January 22, 2009 Posted by | random | Leave a comment

mr cough please go away

hello ppl. i am very weak now. yep. very. been coughing like nobody’s business. i hate taking the public transport because the people around me will be irritated when i cough and cough and cough.

sm said, “oi, batok kering tu. g makan obat. nnt kuar darah.”

and… 5 mins later,… i coughed like too much, i went to the ladies, and cough at the sink, and yes, blood! ya Allah.. kenape lah aku ni stubborn sgt??

and then… my throat started to like feel the pain pain pain. serious. sekarang nk batok pon pikir due kali. asal nk batok je g dapor amek air minum. then tkkn lah dlm mrt nk minum je air? kalau air da abez? mintak org? klaka pe?

on wednesday, i finished my stage 1 driving. and then went for final theory evaluation. but then i didnt go to sch for nahu sarf. coz that was when the blood cam out from my throat to my mouth. like seriously, saket sangat. so ppl if i dont graduate, then too bad. i was about to go. sm was very worried so sm accompanied me to driving and home. ergh. i hate it when i am such a trouble to sm. pity him.

so i am not talking too much either. thanks eh mr cough. and… oh i hate pms also! grr.

oh btw, while i was driving, i nearly hit a car on the right lane as i was about to avoid collision with a big lorry. grr. thank god i passed my stage 1! i forgot to check right mirror but if i were to check, i have to avoid the lorry kan?? so… yah. alhamdulillah i am fine right now. it was quite a heart attack. and after that, my cough attacked me. drive only 30kmh on a 60kmh road. coz i have to drink a lot. mr cute intructor(the first time who instructed me gave his ‘just bought mineral water’ to me. :))

heh. ok ok. need to take the medicine now. need a lott of rest. grr. bye ppl. take care of ur health. again i am saying, dont be like me. menyusahkn mak bpk je tak abez2 nk g beli kan obat! haiya!

ok la. bye.

oh btw, bro treated us to “eatzi” last monday. i think in total it was about $180. oh i have a cool bro. haha. syg abg!

and sm, thnx. 🙂  u know what the thanks is for. lalalalala.

January 22, 2009 Posted by | random | Leave a comment

back to square one?

hah. i was just trying out the wordpress thingy and walah, here i am. anyways, its not in my mind to move blog or what so i will still be using my account in blogspot coz i have been using it since 2006 and i love everything i wrote in there. but wordpress seems interesting and i was curious why everybody changed to wordpress so here i am. peer pressure huh?

anyways, i am still not sure how to add songs and pictures and tagboard so i will go and figure it out. bye world.

January 6, 2009 Posted by | random | Leave a comment