peppermint thanks mint for the love

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letter from syria..

copied from ustazah rozana’s multiply…….. and i am so touched. so here it goes…………..

 

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Larut Malam (adapted from Farahin)

 

 

As I’m writing this, perhaps u all are already in sweet dreams. Maybe some even are still smiling in your sleep from much joy of the graduation day earlier. I know that I’m happy to be here.. after such a long wait. But I can’t deny that a tiny part of me wish I could be there. And I’m sorry that I couldn’t. Kalau lah boleh buat mcm Barney, “let’s pretend” and “use ur imagination” jer terus boleh tukar pergi place yang kite nak…. (ok I know, I’ve enough of Barney, thnx to tuqa).

 

So, today was your special day. Each and every one of you. You people deserved this day. After so much effort and many sacrifices. I still remember those sullen faces. I still remember those disheartened words. I still remember those dampened spirits.

 

“Zah… tadi Balaghah maut seh”

“Zah.. Insya’ tak faham apa benda pun”

“Zah… next paper blum bukak buku pon”

“Zah, saya konfem paper ni takde harapan. Harapkan next punya subject combination jer lah.”

“Zah, tadi paper.. apa sey.. Ust ******* ckp part yang bla bla tak masuk abeh ada qstn sal tu jugak.”

 

And I vividly remember this sms coming from Utt “Zah, doakan kita semua kuat nak teruskan perjuangan. Kita satu2 dah down lps paper ****** tadi.”

 

And do you still remember in the midst of your everlasting prelims, one after another fell sick?

 

Yet you people hanged on. The term “give up” is never in your vocabulary. Even for those whom, I know, tried to give up. Yet you still didn’t. And that is why I’m proud of you people. There was a moment I felt kinda cheated by all your complaints when I received your results by the asatizah. Markah semua tinggi2 belaka. Bila sazah key in, grade A & B ajer yg banyak.  Alhamdulillah, bijak anak2 semua.  Tak sia2 sazah risau.

 

And earlier today, the joy and pride that you felt deep in your hearts, that radiated through your faces, flew miles away to me here in Syria. It made me fight sleep just so that I can type out my thoughts and share the joy. How I wish I could send sms or email, but my phone was send for repair along with the sim card and all the numbers… so maybe I’ll send an email soon.

 

Somehow, I know that you all know that I do remember you just like you all remember me and that you all know that I also know that you all remember me. Bah.

 

Anyways… here’s a special graduation gift for each & every one of you on this special day. A precious little gift from me….

 

 

“ Bismillahirahmairrahim.. Alhamdulillah was solatu wassalamu ‘ala Rasulillah…….

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya Engkau menjadi saksi bahawa telah ku halalkan setiap ilmu yang ku curahkan. Telah ku maafkan segala kesilapan mereka yang di dialam pengetahuanku mahupun tidak. Telah ku redhai langkah mereka dalam menggapai ilmu-Mu ya Hakeem….

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Mengetahui. Bahawasanya segulung syahadah yang kini di dalam genggaman kami hanyalah sehelai kertas cuma. Bahawasanya yang bererti di sisiMu adalah ilmu di dada kami. Ilmu dan amal. Namun ya Allah, Kau jua mengerti bahawa dunia mengiktiraf kertas ini. Bahawa kami sukar maju tanpa kertas ini. Ya Allah, jadikanlah syahadah kami ini satu wasilah dan bukan hadaf. Wasilah untuk syahadat yang lain – ijazah sarjana muda, sarjana dan seterusnya doktor falsafah. Dan jadikanlah kertas2 itu juga sebagai wasilah, kerana hadaf kami adalah ilmuMu ya Hakeem. Hadaf kami seungguhnya ialah keredhaanMu.

      

Ya Allah, pada hari yang penuh barakah ini, anugerahkanlah keikhlasan pada hati2 kami. Tanamkanlah sifat tawadhu’, zuhud, dan cinta pada ilmu dalam hati2 kami. Ya Allah, hiasilah diri kami dgn akhlaq mahmudah, dan lindungilah diri kami dari perasaan riya’, sum’ah, ‘ujub, sombong dan segala penyakit hati yang boleh membutakan kami,

 ya Rabb.

Ya Allah, Kau berkatilah ilmu kami yang cetek ini. Manfaatkanlah ilmu yang ada pada kami dan tinggikanlah darjat serta kemuliaan kami dengan ilmu yang bermanfaat. Kau jadikanlah kami orang2 yang dapat menaburkan bakti kpd masyarakat dan agama dengan ilmu2 kami, ya Allah. Berkatilah ilmu kami dengan amal yang soleh. Berkatilah ilmu kami dengan tabligh yang berterusan. Berkatilah ilmu kami dengan amr ma’ruf dan nahy munkar. Berkatilah ilmu kami dengan bertambahnya lagi; bukan membeku apalagi berkurang.

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya telah Engkau letakkan amanah di atas bahu2 kami. Sesungguhnya telah engkau pilih kami untuk Kau berikan kebaikan2Mu sepertimana yang dikhabar oleh Rasulullah s.a.w

“Man arada bihiLLAHU khairan yufaqqihhu fid din” 

Ya Allah, telah Kau pilih kami sebagai pewaris2 Anbiya’Mu.

Maka, ya Allah, kami pohon dipinjamkan segenap kekuatan rohani, jasmani & minda, agar dapat kami pikul amanah yang diberikan dengan sebaik2nya.

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya Kau Maha Mengetahui akan musibah yang menimpa umat Islam hari ini. Sesungguhnya Kau berjanji tidak akan merubah nasib sesuatu kaum melainkan ia sendiri yang merubahnya. Sesungguhnya Kau berjanji, dengan ilmu, Kau tinggikan darjat hambaMu. Sesungguhnya Kau Maha Mendengar bisikan halus hati kami ingin membantu menaikkan Islam dan menjatuhkan musuh. Ya Allah, bersaksilah.. dengan ilmu dapat kami tebus maruah umat ini. Dengan ilmu,  juga iman terhadapMu, dapat kami buka kunci rahsia alamMu. Dengan ilmu juga dapat kami takluki dunia ini. Agar nama Islam kembali mewangi.

Al-Islamu ya’luw wa la yu’la ‘alaih.

Itu janjiMu. Dengan ilmu, kami berjanji akan menagih janji itu nanti. 

Ya Allah, jadikanlah kami qudwah solehah kepada masyarakat sebagaimana kau jadikan Rasulullah s.a.w uswah hasanah kepada ummat. Sinarilah diri kami dgn hikmahMu. Anugerahkanlah kami ilmu yang luas, pemikiran yang tajam, peribadi yang mulia dan kata2 yang berhikmah. Permudahkanlah kami meneruskan pelajaran; dalam bidang apa pun, di bumi mana pun jua. Jangan Kau sukarkan laluan kami dalam menuntut ilmu, jangan Kau noktahkan langkah kami dalam mengharungi ujian2Mu.

Ya Allah, ke mana jua Kau rezkikan kami selepas ini, kami mohon anugerahkanlah yang terbaik buat kami. Haluan mana yang Kau taqdirkan kami, kami mohon jangan di pisahkan hati2 kami.

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya hati2 ini telah terhimpun dalam mencari redhaMu. Sesungguhnya hati2 ini telah terikat dalam meggapai kasihMu. 

Sesungguhnya hati2 ini telah bersatu dalam menuju cintaMu.

Maka ya Allah, Kau perteguhkanlah ikatan hati2 ini. Jangan sesekali Kau rapuhkannya biarpun jauh jarak waktu dan tempat yang memisahkan. Kami mohon Kau jadikanlah ia sentiasa utuh dalam pemeliharaanMu.

Ya Allah, bila sampai masanya nanti, Kau satukanlah kami kembali. Agar dapat sama2 kami teruskan amanah ini. Agar dapat kami terus perjuangkan agamaMu di muka bumi ini. Bila tiba giliran kami nanti, tetaplah Kau terus memimpin kami. Agar sunnah Anbiya’, auliya’, ulama’ dan asatizah dapat terus kami susuli.

Ya Allah, akhir sekali kami pohon agar Kau sentiasa merahmati kedua ibu bapa kami sebagaimana mereka merahmati kami semasa kami kecil. Balaslah jasa2 dan kebaikan2 mereka untuk kami dengan sebaik2 balasan. Juga Kau berkatilah Madrasah kami dan seluruh lapisan warganya. Berkatilah guru2 dan juga Mudir kami. Limpahkanlah segala rahmatmu terhadap Madrasah kami dan madrasah2 yang lain juga. Ya Allah, kami pohon kau lindungilah institusi2 yang bernama madrasah.

Mudah2an dapat kami membalas jasa suatu hari nanti; samaada secara langsung mahupun tidak.

Ameen Ya Allah..

Ameen Ya Rahman..

Ameen Ya Raheem..

Ameen Ya Rabbal ‘alameen…

HasbunALLAHU wa ni’mal wakeel, ni’mal mawla wa ni’man naseer,

Wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah “

 

 

 

 

Now, that is the reality of graduation. Allah yuwaffiqukum

 

Love,

Umm Tuqa

 

 

 

(THANK YOU SANGAT ZAH. love you so much. )

 

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February 21, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

dilema2 yg sungguh random

oops. my prepaid is low. when this happens, usually, lebih ramai yg msg aku dr time2 biase. kenape ehk?

saket nye hati. bile lah nak dpt $$ nk top-up??? dilema sangat.

lagi satu. dilema. mama suruh ku keje banquet balek. mama pon tgh dilema. masalah nye skrg, hanis ape ntah call suruh dtg interview. adoi. macam mane nie.

dan dilema lagi satu. saye kene pegi suntec city jap lagik. nak kene pass barang2 kt sm. masalah nye, beg nye besar. org akan ingat saye lari rumah. nk naik train tk mampu. bukan tk mampu pasal duit la. ezlink maseh penoh. tk mampu nk tanggung malu. hah. org konpem tgk. nk naik bus. masalahnye bus punye seat kecik2. beg tu lagi besar dr seat. alahai. teksi? jgn berangan. ni baru duit tkde. kalau naik teksi boleh byr pakai ezlink. eh tapi pon tk cukup. *hiakdush!!!!!!!!!* tumbuk diri sendiri!

hari ni hidop sungguh tk menentu. dah lah segugut yg mcm nk melahirkn anak.(walaupon pade realiti saye tk pernah melahirkn anak).

segugut nie mungkin lagi terok dari melahirkn anak. saye nangis tk henti2. saye tk pernah pulak nmpk org yg lahirkn anak nangis tk henti2. (mmg pon. sbb tk pernah tgk org dlm operation room yg tgh lahirkn anak. dlm tv adelah.) so konklusinye, saye tetap percaye segugut saye lebih dahsyat dr melahirkn anak.

lagi satu dilema. tadi saye gosok baju. ade lah dlm 10min saye gosok. tgk asal lah baju tk straight2. rupenye tk switch on lah seh. kenape ngn saye nie.

dilema paling besar: PREPAID SAYE LOW. STOP LAH BERDERING MINTA MSG DIBALAS. PLEASE? SEBELUM HP DIJADIKAN MCM JIGSAW PUZZLE. (jigsaw puzzle???)

February 20, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

CONFIDENCE IS THE KEY TO… SUCCESS?/TP TEST.

I NEED TO BE CONFIDENT OK???????????

i just came back from my driving. i finished stage 3 today so what mr instructor said was,”i think you are a better driver now. from the start. just one thing. be confident. be confident. be confident. ”

fine. i sucks at the confidence part. seriously. i tend to always looked uo to him and wait for his instruction on what to do next. especially for parallel parking which i sucks the most of course. the others are just pretty fine for me. no no. i am very comfortable la i mean. ok so, 5 more lessons, and i’m done for all the course and stages. stage 4 will be all about test thingy and stage 5.01 is my final evaluation before test. then i have to come for revision of course since test date is so far away. hah. april mah..

anyways, i am on hiatus first for driving. till end of february that is. coz like i’ve said, test date is in april. so.. yah. have a break. have a kitkat.

and like i’ve promised, i’ll redo the previous post.

yesterday was fun but lonely for me in irsyad.(AGAIN! I AM NOT CONFIDENT FACING THESE ADULT-TO-BE STUDENTS!) for 6 period i had to ‘invigilate’ the tests classes. so… i was bored and sleepyyy. i nearly dozed off but then i realised i dont want to be like P.Ramlee in Masam Masam Manis. “cikgu suke main bola hari2 cikgu main bola. cikgu da tido, yok kita main.” erk. hah. and then, i walked here and there. sec 3 were all very big already. they are all taller than me. argh! diam! and of course, they are all naughty2 ones but fun. kinda miss my school life in irsyad. we ALWAYS play around. haha. sec 3. remember darlings? we were black-listed class seh. early of sec 3 la. then we started to bond and wallah! we won almost all of the awards school organised. hah. well well. tgk ah sape chairperson. *angkat bakul sendiri.*

so. after the 6 periods i was free till the end of the day. haha. sat at teachers’ room and helped with the markings. cikgu zakiah’s p1 malay test papers. cikgu rumini’s p1 and p2 malay. and mdm hayati’s p5 english. i love marking. hahahah. dulu2 ade jugak berangan mark sane mark sini. lol.

and out i go as soon as clock strucked at 4pm. gave the pass back, sign out at the office and met mum at city hall mrt. went to sm’s working place, bought burger king. and we ate together happily. heh.

and mum and i went back to harbourfront coz ayah reached there already.

and… off to jb lor. what else kn?

so.. yah..

ok. till then. bye people.

p/s: sm is so busy can i kill sm now and put sm beside me?

pp/s: no. i wont. i’ll just kidnapped him. from his work. atleast i am not commiting a murder. hah.

February 18, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

good day

i had a good day today. so is sm. so is mum. oh i love today. first,had a very veryy early msg from ct asking to relief at irsyad. as she cant because she got driving. and so… i said, i’ll go.

i thought i want to sleep right after i reached dover from jb, but well, i cant. ironed my jubah and off i go to irsyad. though i rushed, i was still late. lol. well, braddell seh. kalau newton konfem tk lmbt. hah. excuse, i know.

anyways, moments at irsyad has always been good. while i was a student, or i am a relief teacher. students are all smiling. haha.

okla. thats all. till then. bye.

i’ll redo this post later. sorry. need to go.

February 17, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

today

salam to all. first of all, i had a good day today! ok, i did not celebrate valentine’s day ok? today is just so peaceful. if you know what i mean by that. as early as 8am, i already went out to harbourfront. WAITED for sm to arrive. dingdong! so not cool k.

afterwhich, we went for breakfast at mcd since i have not eat mcd since i got the msg mcd is supporting the israel. ok fine, i somehow ate at mcd just now. kempunan hotcakes sehhhhhh……… kk. 3 bulan ku tk mk mcd lagik k. hee. \

and then sm went to jb. will be back either tomorrow or monday. oh and yes! saw nurathifah md noor at harbourfront. again! haha. utt. asyik nk bertemu kt harbourfront je? kahkah. and we were both wearing the heart-shaped brooch we wore during grad day. and farin also wearing it. hah.

after all that, went to woodlands, looked out for kak farhanah’s belated present. me and mum. oh god. i swear. what we bought for her was the nicest! k bedek ah. but seriously. i loved it. simple. but very elegant. sembonia. asked mum to buy the guess bag. but she refused coz she likes sembonia better. eh, the guess bag is now on sale lah sehhhh. lawa plak tu. pak kal aku tk keje!! lol.

and then, went to cik ana’s house. chatted with my cousin, suzy after quite some time. somehow, i salute her. she is able to cope with all the stress and burden on her. for goodness sake, she is only 18 turning 19 this yr! and yet, her responsibilities are piling up! she got to work. to pay all the bills. the house. her sch fees. oh my god. lyn, patience k? sometimes i am mad at her. coz of some things. but i know, who on earth, 18 years of age, has the same burden as her? i still live depending on my parents’ moneyyyyyyyyy,.. she’s not that sort. she has to work. her mum is working. but she has got to help. her smaller siblings have to go to school. oh my. entahla. Allah, tolong lah suzy k? we cant help that much also…

anyways, driving has been like totally stress and pressure-ing for me. ehehe. i learnt vertical, and parallel parking!!!! oh so the hard. but i didnt brush off any kerbs in any of my trial, and i dont even touch the pole with any part if the car’s body…. i am loving it… instrutor told me he can see me already am comfortable with parking. wahliow! serious ah???? i still feel scary seh. haha.

oh and instrutor Hasrin is going to kill me! i forgot how to vertical parking! ahaha. but after revised it back with instructor amiral, everything comes back to my forgetful head! oh man. zuliana!!! u r not allowed to forget k!!! TP april sehhhhh

okla. till the next post. bye ppl.

February 15, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

random

today is 13th of february 2009. tomrrow is 14th. v-day huh. i dont believe in valentine’s day and of course, wont be exchanging gifts. but, i’ll love to buy the bears and heart-shaped pillows here and there because they look so cute and i love it. and at some point, they decorate it nicer when it comes to v-day. heh. sm will be buying one for me. 😉 yayness!

i got night driving today and i think i wont be able to meet sm today because sm will be going to jb and that means, wont be meeting him tomorrow. aaaaalaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr.

i spent $1700 already for my driving! oh my gosh. and practical lessons i book left with 3 lessons including tonight’s. grr.

 

ok la. today’s post is so random. i feel like typing but i dont have any stories. haha.

February 13, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

ok i am not on hiatus

salamz to all.

ok the reason why i said i was on hiatus because i do not have the grad pictures with me yet. heh. oh, btw, mum and dad went to my grad day, at the very last minute (though i still think they planned it just to see my reaction)

cancel that. just to entertain themselves by seeing me acting so surprised and excited. haha. mama, ayah. not funnyy. heh. but they were the sweetest lah kn. though ayah went to work right after the grad thingy on stage ended. grr.

and coz of that, i didnt took pictures with them. but hey, i will keep it at my heart ok. love you both loads and you both know that. mmuaaakksss.

anyways, relief-ed at irsyad was damn tired but, fun. the teachers,(my beloved teachers) are forever friendly and entertaining and funny at times. haha. they were super cool to me and i love them. hah. only that i cant find the time to talk to sm. coz when it was my break time, i either was too tired, or was talking to ct. so, yeah. kids were forever shouting and jumping around like mad, crazy bunches of dwarfs but aside that, i super love teaching those cute aliens. lol. seriously, the kids were soo adorable. especially primary 2 andalusia! lol. ehem ct will know who i am referring to. *winks at ct*

oh and i just think that if ever one day, all the darlings come to irsyad to teach, we’ll be colleagues and it will be super duper fun isnt it? hehe. oh, i am not saying all the teachers now are to retire, they should be our mentor. heh. cool nyerr! sigh. if only.

driving has been, tough? i might say it was fun. but it was also tiring. but i am still super excited about it, so dont get me wrong. passed my Final Theory Test. -fyi, my book was lost a day before and guess what? nope, i have not open the book or flipped any of the pages yet since i passed BTT. lol. so, had fatimah bonch helping me to book 2 practice sessions before my test. and yeah, i passed.

i get scarier day by day when i have not stopped passing every exams i took-without studying. i am not boasting here. frankly, when will i fall? i might not be able to get up and stand on my two feet back later, if i keep passing everything. argh. but on the other side, of course, i love miracles. miracles do happened. -i am not sure it will for a level results coz i struggled much.

anyways, so much of being on hiatus huh. looks like i have to ‘steal’ the graduation pictures from my friends. bye for now. love u all loads.

p/s: is there anything in this world heal the wound in our heart? i might need that soon.

pp/s: and why would i need it?

 

*oh shuttup.

February 12, 2009 Posted by | 1 | Leave a comment

on hiatus

i will be back when the time is right. for now, i am gone from blogging world.

will be back soon with graduation pictures and more stories about driving.

bye people. do take care when i ‘m gone.

February 11, 2009 Posted by | 1 | 1 Comment

heartbroken

i am not sure whether i’ll attend my graduation day. it is, sort of, kind of, a big day. even for myself, who did not study much for it. i am not sure what ‘graduation’ means now. i have no intention of going too. i feel so bad. so awkward.

mum and dad are busy with their work. so, they wont have the time to come to my graduation day. Primary 1, i was awarded as 2nd place in class, they couldnt come, but i knew nothing back then, and so, i dont care.

primary 6, i was top in maths, on stage at MUIS building, and again, parents couldnt come, and nothing much i could do, but pity myself, when i was surrounded by friends who were accompanied by their parents.

secondary 4 & 5, STE and O level years, i dont care either. coz the other parents were mostly not there too. so i dont care.

i am not sure why i am affected by their absence, but i think this could be my last school’s prize-giving ceremony in my life, and they couldnt come to witness it themselves. i am not holding any grudges or what against my two beloved parents, but i am quite disappointed. maybe, because i disappoint them too much.

it will be a miracle if i come tomorrow, mum and dad tag along too. how i wish that will come true.

February 6, 2009 Posted by | 1 | 1 Comment

whats wrong?

i realised people tend to forget or neglect their old time friends when they found new more interesting ones now, whether intentionally or not. i dont have any idea why. i stick to my friends. and i have difficulties mingling around with new bunch of friends, seriously. its not that we do not want to be there for you, but sometimes a person did not even bother to call up their old besties, because ok, it is troublesome for you to call up someone who is busy and not infront of you that minute. but you cant simply neglect ur old besties. or, old friends.

i am not referring to anyone, but simply to let everyone know, you must treasure your old or new friends, and dont even think anyone wont listen to your problems, when you havent call up them yet. ok? get it?

life sucks partially for me now. parents wont be able to come to my grad day. i knew it. its ok though. i’m not taking degree or what pe……….. preu yg tk tau singapore recognized ke tk pe…………………..

full of shit.

February 5, 2009 Posted by | emotion | Leave a comment